Start:Sep 24, 2023

Duration:10 Minutes

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the confidence to resolve differences with your ego intact (Drama Buster).

Description: 'Drama Buster' provides specific step-by-step guidance to trekkers as they learn how to resolve differences with a sense of dignity and conf ... Read More


Step 1

Hey! Do you realize we're more than half way to the end of this trail!

Let's do a quick check in.

How often have you found yourself using what you've learned so far about disagreements?

Step 2

If you've been practicing the steps, then describe how people in your life have responded.

Step 3

Let's do a brief review of the Drama Busters up to this point:

1- Be honest.
2- Ears first. Mouth second.
3- Don’t assume. Ask.
4- Keep it chill.
5- Own your stuff.
6- Recognize that the other person cares about you.
7- Release offense.

Which ones are getting easier for you?

Step 4

Which ones are a little harder?

Step 5

It's okay if some of the Drama Busters are harder than others.

This is a new way of approaching something that already comes with a lot of stress. Give yourself time to adjust.

But how about those filters? You know, the perceptions or assumptions you make about people or situations that cause you to have blind spots about your reactions.

Without going into much detail, what filters (beliefs, assumptions, past experiences, preferences and opinions) keep showing up?

Step 6

How about 'ghosts'?

In other words, where are your faulty perceptions playing out? Faulty perceptions are emotions based upon something in your past that's making you see something that doesn't really exist in your present situation.

If you're not sure what it is, talk to a friend or that older wiser person we asked you to find earlier. They'll be able to answer, but you'll have to accept that what they say is true. You just may not be able to see it yet.

When you have the answer, briefly describe it in the space provided.

Step 7

Ready for the next Drama Buster?

8- Humble yourself. Lower your guard. Swallow your pride.

Humble yourself enough to admit that you could be wrong.

Trust that the other person, if usually reasonable and rational, may be hanging in there with you because they actually like and respect you.

Can you do both of these:
1)Humble yourself
2)Lower your guard?

Step 8

As you honestly assess the filters that contribute to arguments that go sideways, the realization alone does something to you.

It inspires you to see that others struggle in the same way.

Something even better happens next.

More trust. You develop more of the ability to give others the benefit of the doubt, and they feel safer to do the same.

Trust encourages you to give others the benefit of the doubt. Doing that makes it easier to be honest. Honesty leads to feeling loved and respected.

You see, honesty brings realization; realization causes sharing; sharing brings down the walls that protect you from feeling vulnerable.

Now you can trust that the other person cares enough to hang in there and talk things out.

How much do you value this process enough to keep going with it?

Step 9

That's enough for now.

Go do something nice for the person you had your last conflict with, the person who cared enough to stay in the argument. What will you do?

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