DeeperEngagedfor Social Impact

Start:Dec 07, 2022

Duration:15 Minutes

Goal: this Cognitive Trail will improve the confidence to resolve differences with your ego intact (Drama Buster).

Description: 'Drama Buster' provides specific step-by-step guidance to trekkers as they learn how to resolve differences with a sense of dignity and conf ... Read More


Step 1

Today we're aiming toward our happy place - if you're not already in it.

Go to the video icon above and take a few minutes to feel the song, "Sugar" by Maroon 5.

Share what you thought about the video when you've finished.

Step 2

Are you feeling the love after that song?

Step 3

If you didn't like that tune, then find one that does it for you. Carry the feeling the song gave you into your next confrontation.

It's a way to shut down emotions that try to surface before you hear what the other person is getting at.

You see, if you're feeling backed into a corner and find yourself mentally - or actually - criticizing the other person, then you need to know something. Your criticism just shut down love. It sought superiority.

You can't treat someone like you want to be treated when you're trying to smash their ego. If you're the one criticizing, then you're the one blocking love.

Will you try to keep a tune in your mind to get a handle on your emotions when you feel dissed, backed into a corner, tempted to do some dissin'?

Step 4

The moment you criticize or disrespect someone, back it up.

You have a choice here.
(a) The other person deserved it, and you don't care that you hurt them.
(b) Ah man, blew it again. Take two. Apologize. Hear them out but keep a happy song in your head to keep from reacting. They just may be right.

Which choice will you aim for?

Step 5

Suppose the person often criticizes you or makes you feel dissed, then what?

Will you bring up the subject with them?

Step 6

What will you do if they don't own their behavior?

Step 7

Think long and hard about the nature of criticism.

If it's on you, then here's your chance to see things differently. You can choose how you view the other person.

You can choose to love them despite imperfections.

You can give them the same do-over that you'd like for them to give you. That's what it is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Will you try with everything you have to catch yourself the next time you try to do any one of the following:
*interrupt someone
*correct them
*criticize them
*mock them
*humiliate them

Step 8

When someone does any one of the above to you, will you address it with them immediately but in a low-key, respectful tone?

*Tell them how it feels.
*Hear their response.
*Let them know that "when you say or do....., then I feel like...."
*Stick with the subject long enough to give them a fair shot to recognize what they did and own their part.

How confident are you that you can do this?

Step 9

*Peace of mind

If you're not feeling it because they're not owning it after several attempts at dialogue, then maybe it's time to bow out gracefully.

At the very least, take a vacation from them for a couple of weeks to give you both time to gain perspective.

Will you consider doing that?

Step 10

Yes, you deserve some sweetness in your life.

See you tomorrow!

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